Our Editor for now JM Baraza learns the hard way that it is not always wise to say yes to every other offer that comes your way.

Between forced intimacy and being hal-eaten by a hyena, the E-F-N comes back in an aging metal to narrate a saga not even the script writers at BBC Studios could conjure up in their most drugged state.

Cleft for who? Let others hide thyselves from thee as this German tank steps up to the breach and does things that both physics and common motoring knowledge dictate should not even be possible.

In my hand no prize I bring

Simply to Thy cross I cling

As I open the throttle and make the turbo sing…

To successfully test and review cars for a living means you should be able to drive; and drive well. Once upon a time the good people at Jaguar Land Rover Sub-Saharan Africa did it like Beyonce and upgraded our sorry behinds by putting a sample of ‘African motoring journalists’ through the wringer. The result? Drifting in an AWD V6 F-Type and clocking 225km/h in a black XJ saloon; among other things. Tough? Yes. Fun? Also yes.

For old dogs like Baraza JM, this is just another day at the office, but for rookies, this is…..TRAINING DAY

Baraza JM’s faith in BBC’s Top Gear show gets restored in the latest series.

Take one Isuzu double-cab pickup. Put it in a sandbox and add a dash of overzealous autojourno. Serve on the pages of a magazine. Ladies and germs, welcome to Namib desert.Ladies and germs, welcome to the…DMAX